[Design-team] Critique for Ticket #159: Freemedia Mailer Design

[Onyeibo Oku]

On 01/03/2011 01:10 PM, Jef van Schendel wrote:
> 2010/12/21 Onyeibo Oku<twohot at fedoraproject.org>:
>> Hello(s):)
>>
>> In October 08, 2010, I submitted a design for ticket #159. Back then, I
>> wanted the team to critique the work. (See follow-up comment #5 at
>> https://fedorahosted.org/design-team/ticket/159). The team was focusing
>> on the wallpaper design for F14 at that time and so, nothing much was
>> said about my solution.
>>
>> I'd like to present it again.  I have included the initial mail below as
>> it contains my thoughts on the work at that time. I look forward to your
>> comments.
>
> Hi!
>
> Great work so far, I think. I like it. :)

Thanks

>
> Here are a few suggestions I hope are helpful:
>
> - The fonts: I didn't know you had to use standard typefaces, that's
> interesting. I think Bitstream Vera Sans is a good choice though. As
> for the other ones, I see you used MgOpen Modata there. It might be
> better to use Cantarell, since that's now what we use for body text.
> Maybe these svg's were made before we made the switch?
>
I think so. I realized that from the Gnome-shell mock-up designs.  I'll 
update the svgs and upload that in no distant time.

> - Personally I like type A the best, since the top looks more balanced
> when the blue air mail object is on the right. As you said though, you
> should do what's best for actual mailing if that conflicts with what
> looks better aesthetically. :)
>
That's what I thought too, but I included version B because I wasn't 
sure of post office rules concerning "Air Mail" stickers.  I gather that 
their position is immaterial and as such version 'A' remains authentic.

> - I like the "Inside" sticker and the little envelopes next to it!
> Cute and clear. I am, however, not sure what the little post stamp
> icons next to 32-bit and 64-bit mean. Is this like a little checkbox
> the sender can check off? Or are both 32- and 64-bit versions
> included? If the latter, maybe a small checkmark might be more
> suitable to tell people "this is what's included".

Well, this was designed for the Freemedia Group and the way we work 
requires some flexibility.  The tick will be supplied by the person 
sending out the CDs.  So, yes ... the stamp shapes are check-boxes. I 
decided to play with it ... somewhat.

>
> - Regarding the Fedora slogan and info text... It feels a bit crowded
> to me, because the amount of text is quite large. I would try to
> either reduce the text to one or two sentences, or remove the
> "Freedom, Friends, etc..." completely, leaving more room for the text.
> If you do include the whole bit though, it may be good to space it up
> a bit and use paragraphs. It's also usually a good idea to either keep
> larger amounts of text flushed left instead of centering it all,
> because the latter makes it harder to read.
>

I'll consider these suggestions in for the next upload.  I've always 
thought textual content requires collective input. That text was a 
draft.  I hoped someone would come up with something better, ... 
concise but loaded.

> - I'm wondering why you used the full height for the front, but not
> for the back (with the large Fedora logo). We could use the space
> there. Maybe I missed something in the guidelines or your explanation
> though.
>

You missed the fold.  The artwork will be folded to form the Mailer 
Jacket. The bit with the Scissors completes the rear section.

> If it's not clear what I mean, just tell me and I'll try to put
> together some examples to explain it better. :)
>
> Small nitpicks:
>
> - Personally I would have put a colon after the "Inside", to make it
> clearer that text things next to it are the things that are, well,
> inside.
>
Noted. I will implement this.

> - I'd remove the quotation marks from the "Freedom, Friends, etc..."
> text and not use italics, simply because they're not needed. That's
> just me, though.
>

Lets just see what the rest of the team will say.

> - At "courtesy of the fedora community close to you!", the word
> "Fedora" should be capitalized. I'd also make it normal type instead
> of bold. It's already smaller and lighter than the text above it to
> set it apart.
>
> Hope some of this is helpful. Awesome job already. :)
>
> Jef

Sure, I was longing for critique.  I got one and I'm encouraged. I was 
starting to wonder if I got it all wrong.

Regards
-- 
Oku Onyeibo
http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/user:twohot