<div class="gmail_quote">On Wed, Feb 18, 2009 at 1:31 PM, John Poelstra <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:poelstra@redhat.com">poelstra@redhat.com</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;">
Hi Docs People,<br>
<br>
I'm wondering of there are any people who would be willing to do their word-smithing magic on the text for this page: <a href="https://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Releases/11/FeatureList" target="_blank">https://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Releases/11/FeatureList</a><br>
</blockquote><div><br>I made one quick pass a this from a general standpoint.<br> <br></div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;">
<br>
This page gets a lot of exposure and is read by a lot of different audiences, including the media. I'd like to make sure it is understandable and reads as well as it can. The summary that accompanies each feature name is particularly important. For the most part the summary comes directly from the individual feature page.<br>
</blockquote><div><br>I'll need to read a few of the feature pages before I can help more, but I see some candidates for updates :)<br><br>One recurring question: Do the different audiences know what rebase is?<br>For example: <br>
"Update Xfce to the upstream 4.6 release with many new improvements and features." seems like a good clip<br>but " Rebase to Gnome 2.26" maybe not so much. <br>I know that most of Fedora community should understand this description but what about the other audiences that you are targeting with this page?<br>
<br>-Susan<br> </div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;"><br>
Thanks,<br>
John<br><font color="#888888">
<br>
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</font></blockquote></div><br><br clear="all"><br>-- <br>Susan Lauber, (RHCX, RHCA, RHCSS)<br>Lauber System Solutions, Inc. <br><a href="http://www.laubersolutions.com">http://www.laubersolutions.com</a><br>gpg: 15AC F794 A3D9 64D1 D9CE 4C26 EFC3 11C2 BFA1 0974<br>