On Sat, 2009-05-30 at 10:07 +0200, Max Spevack wrote:
I like it. It makes me smile, and not much does.
Minor suggestions:
(1) Change Dr. Brattlesworth to some sort of pun on a Fedora name?
Unless Brattlesworth has some other meaning that I simply don't get.
Anyone have any suggestions?
(2) I read "snares, toils, and dangers" as "snares,
trolls, and dangers"
at first, which might be funnier!
I didn't make this change only because "trolls" doesn't seem to fit BUT
I'm not against making the change because I think it would be funnier.
Opinions?
(3) "that marvelous creature -- Leonidas" -- perhaps
"the Leonidas"?
Changed.
(4) If (3), then s/Leonidas/the Leonidas/ everywhere appropriate
Done
(5) I believe people adjourn to the "parlour" for cigars and brandy, not
the "sitting room". :)
Yeah... done.
Good stuff.
--Max
I've also made changes based on Murray's email.
-- Eric