OT: what's with the 'i'?

[Paul Allen Newell]

On 1/31/2013 1:07 PM, Robert Moskowitz wrote:
>
>
> My copy of this is back in the mid-90s:
>
>                            Vy  Knot?
>
>
> Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the
> European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways
> of improving efficiency in communications between Government
> departments.
>
> European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is
> unnecessarily difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough,
> through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme
> of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of
> course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by
> participating nations.
>
> In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's'
> instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities
> would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced
> by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this
> klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters
> kould be made with one less letter.
>
> There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was
> announsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'.
> This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty persent shorter in print.
>
> In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
> expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are
> possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double leters
> whish have always been a deterent to akurate speling. We would al
> agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful.
> Therefor we kould drop them and kontinu to read and writ as though
> nothing had hapend.
>
> By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would
> be reseptiv to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'.  Perhaps zen ze
> funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a
> 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from vords
> kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer
> kombinations of leters.  Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud
> eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no
> mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud find it ezi tu understand ech
> ozer. Ze drems of the Guvermnt vud finali hav kum tru.
>
>

Thank you ... I really enjoyed reading it (and was easily able to read 
the whole article ... while my Thunderbird spell-check starting choking 
on the third paragraph)
Paul