GNAA announces switch to Windows Vista

[Abdul Al-Felashis]

GNAA announces switch to Windows Vista

fellacious (GNAP) Intercourse, PA- Windows Vista appears to finally be
taking off, at least within one Fortune 100 company.  The GNAA had for the
past 13 years been using Red Hat Linux and it's successor, Fedora Core, but
growing discontent with the free software operating system forced CTO Jmax
to declare on Wednesday that the company was to be switching its entire
infrastructure to the new version of Windows, effective immediately.  "I'm
not going to theatrically claim that I wasn't expecting to have to do this,"
Jmax said.  "This has been coming for quite some time."
  The GNAA's troubles with Red Hat's Linux system included chronic
governance problems, a persistent failure to maintain key repositories, a
complex and undocumented submission process which has kept the GNAA's free
trolling utilities off the Red Hat-based desktops of thousands of would-be
trolls, inability to keep RPM up to date, and a failure to address the
problem of Firefox not crashing a entire computer when the user loads Last
Measure.  "The deal-breaker, though, was when a key Last Measure server
remained down for four hours while our entire Intercourse development team
tried desperately to bring it up despite not having statically-linked
package manager binaries."  What had happened was Dikky, visiting from
Norway, wanted to play the child pornography mod of Doom 3 on that server-
which had to drag several libraries with it.
  "In addition," said Jmax, "several key software applications used in the
GNAA's corporate workflow are proprietary software- which means that they
had to be run in an Ubuntu compatibility environment anyway."  However,
being as those unnamed applications were written in C#.NET, "We expect that
our transition to Windows Vista will come off without a hitch."

About Jmax:
The CTO of the GNAA, Jmax also has a seat on Microsoft's board of
directors.  His resume can be accessed at http://goatse.fr/

About Windows Vista:
The fastest-growing desktop operating system on the market, Windows Vista
combines the legendary security of Windows 98 with the legendary ease of use
of those computer interfaces you see in the movies into one ultra-fast,
ultra-stable computing platform.

About Red Hat:
A failure of a computer company, Red Hat burns through investor money while
giving its products away for free.  It is currently under investigation from
the SEC for misuse of invested funds, and being sued by the GNAA for breach
of contract for sucking more than specified in the GNAA's contract with Red
Hat.

About the Linux community:
Trolled.